Not Your Grandma's Gospel

I am not your pastor. I am not your grandma’s devotional writer. I am a fancy f*ck up who has tasted wreckage and found grace in the ruins. Addiction recovery, sexual trauma, rebellion — these are not disqualifiers. They are the soil where mercy grows wild.

Here, Reiki and breathwork sit beside prayer and scripture. Here, addiction stories are holy testimonies. Here, broken halos shine brighter than polished crowns. Because grace isn’t reserved for the perfect — it’s poured out on the wreckage, the outlaws, the ones who dare to believe love is bigger than shame.

Lately, I’ve been moving through a season of breath and light — inhaling truth, exhaling everything that can no longer come with me. Breath work and Reiki have become quiet teachers at my side, gently peeling back layers I didn’t know I was still holding. When we do this level of inner work, the energy doesn’t lie. It shows us exactly where we’re holding on.

It’s astonishing how the body remembers what the mind tries to forget.

During breath work, I feel the stories trapped beneath my ribs rise like tides. Each inhale brushes up against the places I’ve kept tightly sealed; each exhale loosens something — a memory, a fear, a version of myself I’ve outgrown. — These are signals from my body asking me to stop carrying what isn’t mine anymore.

And somewhere between the rise and fall of my breath, I realize:
letting go isn’t an act of force; it’s an act of surrender. Sometimes letting go isn’t a big dramatic event, just a quiet exhale that finally says, “I’m done.”

Reiki & the Language of Energy

In Reiki sessions, the energy tells its own story — subtle, honest, and impossible to argue with. Lately, the same place keeps calling for attention:
the throat.

A gentle ache.
A tightness just beneath the voice.
A weight I keep trying to swallow.

The throat chakra — the home of truth, expression, and the courage to speak from the soul — has been whispering its message:

You have stayed silent in places where you needed to speak.
You have held onto connections long after they stopped holding you.
You have dimmed your voice to stay contained inside someone else’s comfort.

Energy never lies; it simply waits for us to listen.

A blocked throat chakra doesn’t always shout; sometimes it trembles. It shows up as:

Words left unsaid,
truths left unspoken,
and relationships we keep in our orbit out of habit instead of harmony.

It is the pressure of all the things we know but haven’t yet admitted.
It is the body’s way of asking:
“What are you afraid to say out loud?”
It’s time to speak your truth — even if your voice shakes.

Releasing What No Longer Serves

Breath work showed me where the cracks were.
Reiki showed me the light trying to get in.
My own intuition whispered, “You already know.”

Through breath work, I exhale the old.
Through Reiki, I realign with my truth.
Through self-honesty, I make space for relationships that genuinely nourish me.

Returning to My Voice

As the throat unclenches, a soft clarity rises. My voice feels more like mine again — less filtered, less hesitant, less concerned about the comfort it might disrupt.

There is a freedom that comes from speaking what your soul has known long before your mind was ready to admit it. I am learning that healing is not about becoming someone new —
it is about remembering the person I always was, underneath all the things I was afraid to say. Your truth deserves to be heard — especially by you.


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